If my baby would sleep at night

I used to make Shawn breakfast every morning. I'm not talking cereal either. Eggs, bacon, sausage, grits, pancakes, omelets; I even tried to replicate a sausage, egg, and cheese mcmuffin once because he basically said he'd rather have McDonalds (rude, right?)
As I got into my 3rd trimester I started going back to bed after he left for work, then I quit getting up at all. Then, well then i had a baby.

There was a window of time when Will was sleeping through the night when I was going to start getting up and making breakfast again (I think I did once) but that window quickly closed. Now the longest stretch of sleep we get is maybe 3 hours at best.

Breakfast isn't the only thing I'm missing. If Will would sleep at night my house would be more organized, I'd bake bread again. Man, I used to bake bread. I would read, oh how I miss reading. I would blog more often; so many times I've started a post and put it off because my brain was too tired to process it. I would write; I have ideas galore for stories or articles I could pitch to web publications, for money. money! but I'm just exhausted. All. The. Time. If you don't get it, you've never experienced sleep deprivation. I mean, my brain does not function the way it should.

Maybe I would even do some of these crafts that I keep buying supplies for.

The pros and cons of DIY family photos

This past weekend we decided to do a little family photo shoot for ourselves.



Doing your own family photos presents some challenges, especially with a baby, but it also has a lot of advantages, like hello, it's free. DIY family photos is not something I recommend for just anyone. You need experience/knowledge, a good quality camera (we used my Canon T1i), a tripod, and some Photoshop skills sure don't hurt. While I wouldn't quite call myself or Shawn a professional photographer, we have both been paid for this hobby that we love and we've been doing it for years. Maybe we're semi-pros. I know my hubby sure is talented with the camera and with Photoshop.

When taking your own family photos you of course have to use a tripod or some other level surface to hold the camera. For families with babies or small children this adds a kink into the normal photo-taking process. Normally when taking photos of a baby there is someone holding the camera and/or someone else near the camera to get the baby to look in the right direction and smile. A tripod placed a few yards away just isn't that interesting to a baby. I thought the beeping from the timer might hold his attention a little bit, but no such luck. So, while attempting to get your baby to look at the camera you may end up with a photo like this:



or this:



On the pro side, it's okay to have photos like this because you have all the time in the world to get the good photo. The only people whose time you're taking up is your own, unlike with a hired photographer who is on a schedule, or may just have some place else to be. Along the same lines, you will never have to forfeit getting a great shot due to weather, lighting, or time. If you don't get that shot today, just go back tomorrow, or next week.

When you're doing your own photos you also have complete control over day, time, and more importantly, location. In fact, you could do as many locations as you want. For example, it was my idea to do some photos in the library like the one at the top of this post and this one:



Not to say that a professional photographer wouldn't let you choose a location, I'm sure most would.

Another thing you won't get when taking your own family photos is professional opinion and instant feedback. We had my camera set on a tripod for most shots (in the last one it was on a stack of books), and used a 10 second timer. Every time a photo was taking one of us had hit the shutter button, hurry to get into position, wait for the shutter, then go back to the camera, review the shot, and set it again if it wasn't good. With a hired photographer you know the shot is being taken at the right moment, when everyone is in their place and looking in the right direction, if the shot wasn't good you'll know without getting up, no running back and forth necessary. Then again, isn't your own opinion of how you look in a photo more important to you than what a photographer thinks?

Oh, probably what some people dislike the most about professional photography is the turnaround time. I've heard of people waiting months for their wedding photos. When you take your own family photos the turnaround time is whatever you make it. We took these photos on a Saturday and, I believe Shawn had them done the following Monday. I think I even had the top photo on facebook Saturday night.

That's pretty much it. If you've done this before, did you have the same challenges? If you haven't and you decide you're not up to the challenge, we're available!

Hey you! Bubs!

Since all the cool kids are doing it, I felt the need to post about Will's nicknames. The Cool Parents have Cool Baby and Cool Newbie, and NatTheFatRat wrote a babble post about the many nicknames she has for her Henry.

Will has several nicknames as well. Will of course if short for William, but that's the only derivative of William we use. Do not call my kid Billy, or even worse, Willie. Do. Not. His first nickname was baby, I think I use that more when referring to him, like when I told husband today, "baby needs a bath." I still call him "baybah, baybah," a lot. When he's cranky, you're likely to hear me call him "mister" or "mister mister" or " fussy mcfusserson." I also like to call him "baby balooga" in a sing-song way, of course. Then there's "bubs," which is short for "bubbalou." "Bubbalou" is probably the nickname I use most, it occasionally makes me think of Bubbalou's Bodacious BBQ, which I never had the chance to try when I lived in the Orlando area, sad. "Bubs" always, always makes me think of Bubs. Click it, you must! What can I say, Will does have a deep voice.


Can you believe he's 5 months old!?!?!?!

What nicknames do you have for your kids? Or what was your own nickname growing up?

Sleep Training

We started sleep training today. I do not believe in "cry-it-out" methods (I think I would implode!), what we are doing is different. The method we are using is called Pick-up/Put-down (or PUPD), and it's from The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. Basically you put him down before he falls asleep and only pick him up if he cries, then you put him down when he stops crying, and repeat. And repeat and repeat and repeat.



This is tough stuff. I tried it for the first time for one of his naps today. I gave up after what felt like 2 hours but was probably only 30 minutes or so. He just screamed and screamed, he didn't know what was going on and he did not like it. I did get him to go to sleep without the pacifier though, but he doesn't always need it to fall asleep anyway (though he has more lately, which I hate. I also hate the swaddle, but that's another thing). I don't think the pacifier is a big problem though, he only wants it when he's sleepy.

Tonight Shawn did pick-up/put-down. I warned him it would be hard, he says he's tough, I wonder if he has a soul. After over an hour, Will is finally sleeping. I feel so bad for him. I mean, he's being held and comforted and everything, but I know he doesn't know what's going on and he definitely doesn't like it. Now that he's asleep I just want to go in there and pick him up and hold him.

Embracing Mommyhood

Here's something that may come as a surprise to you: I've never taken care of a baby before.
I've always wanted to be a mom but I've never had a bit of practice (at least not alone). In fact, the first diaper I ever changed was Will's.

When we first brought Will home, I was very fortunate to have a lot of help; even though husband's time off was over by the time Will came home. Husband took half-days for a week, my mom came a lot, and Becky took a couple half-days a week. So for the first few weeks home I had help for at least half of the day.

When the time came for me to spend all day alone with Will, I was very nervous. Let's face it, I was scared. To say Will cried a lot in the first few weeks would be an understatement. He cried and I got mad and I cried. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what he wanted, and I mainly just wanted him to stop crying. The only thing keeping me sane was constantly reminding myself of something I read in The Baby Whisperer, it goes something like: I cry because I need your help, I'm little and I can't do it myself.

I would call husband upset and crying, "I can't do this!" On more than one occasion, he came home early from work.

Finally, one day, I thought to myself, "why am I so mad? He's just a baby." I really thought about this and I realized I was so mad because I am selfish. Now I know we all have selfish tendencies from time to time, but I didn't realize how selfish I was until I had this little tiny life that needed me for everything. I was mad because I couldn't do anything I wanted to do. I couldn't put him down, I couldn't do yoga, I couldn't blog (I later started blogging from my phone while nursing or rocking), I couldn't read. Although sometimes what I wanted to do was legitimate like eat or use the bathroom, otherwise it was a very self-centered way to feel.

I felt like I had lost a piece of my life or like I had lost myself, my own identity, but I realized this is my life now. Looking down at the completely dependent baby in my arms, he is my life. This is what I do. Not only am I okay with that, I love it. From that day on I feel I've really been able to embrace my new role as a mom. I'm more patient with him and less selfish, I don't get so upset when he wakes up only 30 minutes into his nap, like just now. Sure, it's annoying, especially if I'm in the middle of something, but he's more important than whatever I'm doing, so I don't get angry, I just go in there and pick him up because that's what I'm here for. Sure the books say it's bad if his whole nap is in my arms, but it works (honestly, it's more discouraging than annoying). This baby needs me, sometimes he just wants my attention, sometimes he's just wants to sit in my lap, nothing is more important.

This week I even took it a step further. I realized that there are too many times when I'm holding Will or playing with Will and also checking my phone. It's rediculous how often I check facebook and twitter during the day. Why am I doing this? Am I bored? How can I be bored when I have a cute baby to play with?! So I told myself I wouldn't check either for a week. Now I'm constantly checking blogs. Maybe I'm just craving adult interaction.


P.S. Don't you love it that right at the moment you're thinking, "baby sure looks cute in that outfit," is when he spits-up on it?

Weekend: a story of poop, napping, and crying.

(Will has developed a penchant for holding and chewing burp cloths.)

Let's start with Friday, shall we? Friday Oliver dog was supposed to go to the vet and since I dare not attempt an outing alone with crazy dog and unpredictable baby, sister-in-law Becky took the morning off to go with us.

For some reason I felt the need to check to make sure husband had left us the car. He had not. I even reminded him the night before, even though this is one of few things that doesn't usually require reminding, something told me to remind him.

Husband decided to postpone Oliver dog's appointment and Becky and I decided to watch Gilmore Girls. Will decided to not take a good nap.

Here's something fun. So I'm finishing feeding Will and sit him on my lap to burp him and he feels this is a great time to poop. His diaper, however didn't have the same idea. I started to feel something warm on my lap. Lap is the polite way to say I got poop on my thinly yoga-panted crotch.

Thankfully Becky was there and I was able to yell for her to bring me some paper towels and remove poopy baby from me.

Decided to wash dirty dog stuff. Later decided to do that at a laundry mat from now on in order to leave the cleaning of ridiculous amounts of dog hair out of the washer and dryer to someone else.

Washed fur rug, now have a fairly clean dreadlocked rug.

Cute baby break

Saturday.
Saturday Will took a short nap before headed to Wakulla with friends to stake out the area for a wedding husband is helping Ashlyn shoot (as in camera, not gun).

I'm becoming a pro at nursing in the car by the way.

Husband climbed a tree.

I thought about what family vacations were like before amusement parks and before the interstate. Wished I lived back then. Tweeted about wishing I lived back then. Husband agreed to take quaint vacations to places like the springs.

We ate overpriced, terrible-for-you food while Will stared at Russ playing guitar and refused nap #2. Marveled at how Roslyn just falls asleep without assistance.

Nursed in the car again, baby fell asleep. Husband and I decided a diaper change was in order, baby woke up. Mistake? Baby fell asleep on the way home, made up for missed naps. We fell asleep too and were late for dinner.

Rapture did not happen.

Sunday.
More nursing in the car, this time with a very difficult dress. For which a safety pin had to be procured before church to avoid flashing more than the usual number of people. Ate at Mellow Mushroom. Husband decided it was the best pizza place we had been to, I said we hadn't been to many.

Went to Kohl's to try and solve the Sunday wardrobe issue. Was overwhelmed by the amount of stuff. Bought one dress for $18.

I decided I am the only one not amused by Will's ability to distinguish that I am not the one holding him, start crying, and then stop once he's given back to me. He also does this when laying in his crib, it's not amusing then either. Faker.

End with my view whilst writing this post on my phone.

My Baby!

For some reason, the other day, I started thinking about other people holding Will and I panicked a little.


I mean, I already knew it was a reality that others would hold him, but it suddenly hit me like a sack of bricks. I know this sounds terribly selfish, but, he's mine! It's not just strangers I'm talking about either (one strategy I've heard for that is baby-wearing; it makes people less likely to ask), the thought of family holding him even bothers me.

At least the thought of Shawn holding him doesn't bother me (except for when he makes jokes by saying things like, "I'll try not to drop him," that irks me a little), but anyone other than the two of us? The thought makes me freak out a little. He's ours! This is really ridiculous considering that they have more baby-holding experience than I do.

Then I thought, maybe this is a normal new-parent feeling, so I asked Shawn what he thought. He says his dad didn't want anyone to hold him, so that makes me feel a little better about my selfishness.

Superstition as religion: who do you worship?

A few weeks ago I tweeted this:



Now, I'd like to further explain this.

I don't know how superstitious you are or your grandmother is, and I don't know how prevalent superstitious beliefs are among Christians, so this may be a post only for my family and a few others.

I never considered my family to be very superstitious growing up, but after years of funny looks, and "what are you talking about?"s I guess I had picked up more superstitions that a good number of my peers (though I'm definitely not the only one).


Photo by california cowgirl1 on Flickr

So what if I knew by a curious, young age which direction a black cat had to cross your path for it to be bad luck, with which hand and over which shoulder to throw salt when you spilt it, and the meanings of the different directions to hang a horseshoe over your door? Not to mention my collection of lucky rabbits' feet, and the fact that I would never, ever walk under a ladder. It was never a big deal, at least not to me.

Then again, it's what I grew up with, so it was normal. The fact that my great-grandmother had to enter the house from the same door she exited made perfect sense to me. (I really don't think this is related to my unwillingness to get out of bed on the opposite side from which I entered, though it is similar. Getting out on the other side just feels wrong, like when you turn halfway around one way you have to turn back around the other way. It feels wrong. Oh, that's just me?).

However, there is one superstition that has always been treated as a big deal, one that's always been taken very seriously. One that caused my mom to freak out on more than one occasion when my dad or sister almost broke it. This is the superstition that really got me thinking.

This is the holiday laundry superstition.

The basics are that you cannot launder on certain holidays, Easter, Christmas, New Years? Thanksgiving? Eh, might as well be on the safe side. As I stated earlier, I was very curious about these things, so I asked my mom, "what would it mean if you did do laundry? What would happen?" Not wanting to burden me with such a big scary responsibility at a young age, she would not tell me the consequence, just to not do it. Eventually, she did tell me, and if you don't want to know, this is your last chance to quit reading.

She told me that if you do laundry on one of those days, someone in your immediate family will die. I've also heard it put like this: If you do laundry on this day, you'll be doing laundry for a corpse by the end of the year. I believe this is said when applying the superstition to New Year's Day, but what is New Year's Day?

New Year's Day is what got me thinking about this the most. I couldn't do laundry on that day, but the next I could, even though it was the Sabbath. I thought to myself how if I were living under the laws of the Sabbath, this would probably be forbidden, they would have done such tasks the day before, the day on which I told myself I couldn't because of a superstition.

Why are we giving so much reverence to this man-made celebration? By giving a man-made superstition such control, we are honoring it with the type of importance that the Jewish people were commanded to give to the Sabbath. And it's not just about New Year's, this also goes for all the other holidays this superstition is observed on and all the other superstitions that may be observed on any given day. We are putting man-made observances before God-made observances. How is this different from making idols to worship?

To break it down: By observing superstitious rules we made up ourselves, we are treating them in a way that gives them honor, but what are we honoring? God intended his people to observe His Holy day and give Him honor. Yet, we tend give more importance to these superstitions than we do to God's ordained Holy day. It is almost like we have replaced the Sabbath with idols. God told His people certain things they were to do and not do on the Sabbath as well as during other important times like the Passover and different feasts. We decided to make up our own rituals (superstitions) that have nothing to do with God. Superstitious practices could even be related to the specific practices of different types of sacrifices, but I mainly want to relate it to commands we are still supposed to be observing today. Like the 4th commandment.

Yes, since I am a Christian and not Jewish, I know we are no longer under the law, but under grace and while strict observance of the Sabbath was given exceptions by Jesus Himself (we are supposed to put peoples' needs above rules, spiritual work.), we are not to disregard any of the commandments, the principals still apply. See also, this page on keeping the Sabbath.


Photo by two stout monks on Flickr

After thinking about this for sometime, I see that we observe superstitions in a much more serious manner than we observe the Sabbath. Think about it, do you observe the Sabbath at all? Whether the Sabbath to you is Saturday or Sunday, or from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, how is that day any different from its weekend partner?

If there is no difference, or if the only difference is that you attend a church service, I would hope that you would take some time to pray and think over this, I know that I have.

I feel that the way we observe the Sabbath today needs to change, it's the how I'm still not sure about. If you have any suggestions or special ways in which you observe the Sabbath as a Christian today, please share them by commenting on this post.

Having a baby changes everything, except...

If you listen to/read the same kinds of things I have been about becoming a new parent, or even if you've just listened in passing, you hear people constantly saying how when they became parents they lost all of their friends who were not parents. People without kids don't want to be around them all the time and don't want to hear you talking about your kids all the time.



Well, this change is not going to happen for us. (You're thinking, "oh you're just being ignorant, why do you think you're special, I haven't had a grown up conversation in 3 years.") Why? Because our friends are having kids too!

Last time I checked, of the people I'm friends with on facebook (and yes, I do know these people), 9 were expecting (by the way, this was really frustrating when I knew I was pregnant but we were waiting to tell anyone while every 5 minutes someone who was not as far along as me was announcing their pregnancy. I'm glad we waited though). Of the members of a small group we were part of last year, I think there are only 2 couples who are not expecting now (something in the water?), not to mention the the small group leaders welcomed their second child soon after the group ended.

So if we look at how many friends are already parents, and how many are expecting, by the end of 2011, most of are friends will be parents. Then, if the announcements keep popping up like they have been, I can replace the "most" in the previous sentence with "all."

We've also talked about doing a small group where most of the members will be parents or new parents, and that way no one is annoyed when the discussion is interrupted by crying for the 5th time.

It's the Thought that Counts

Maybe I should have waited until after Christmas to post this, but then I don't want anyone thinking I'm talking about their gift to me, so here goes. I don't know how many times I've gone over this post in my head, trying to find a way to write it that didn't sound so harsh. I couldn't, so bear with me. (and also excuse me for being a Christian blogger making a Christmas post that is about gifts and not about the birth of our Savior.)


"Presents" by alliecreative on Flickr.


The phrase "It's the thought that counts" is heard a lot this time of year and if you've ever received a gift you didn't care for I'm sure you've heard it or even said it to yourself as you tried to appear grateful. I would like to pick this saying apart a bit and really just analyze one word: "thought."

What "thought" is it that we're talking about when we say "it's the thought that counts"? When an aunt that you've spent time with at least once a week for most of your life buys you the same gift she would buy for a coworker that she barely knows (hello soap and lotion set! or Hickory Farms sampler for the guys), what thought is it that we're trying to give her credit for?

In many cases the only thought I can find that the giver had when purchasing the gift was, "I have to buy this person a gift."

For "the thought to count," the giver must put some thought into the gift. For example, if your grandma buys you a pink bunny costume because she knows you like bunnies, that thought counts, because she took into consideration what you like. Even if she didn't consider that you're not 5 anymore and would never let yourself be seen in bunny costume, much less a pink one, she was still making an effort to get you something you would like. Even if their thinking was off, at least they made an effort and I think that's the true intention of the phrase, "it's the thought that counts," not what we've made it today. Today, we might as well just say, "well, at least they bought you something." Really?

Now I understand that this may make me sound incredibly unappreciative, but that is not the case. I would actually rather receive nothing than just "something." I would rather the person not have wasted their money on something that they purchased without even going through the thought process of "will she like/use this?" Other than wasting their money it puts them in the awkward position of giving a bad gift and receiver in the awkward position of trying to appear thankful while hoping there is a gift receipt.

Now there are times when you feel you have to buy someone a gift and you don't have any idea what to get them, I understand. First, ask yourself, "do I really have to buy this person a gift?" If you really think you do, a gift card is always a more thoughtful purchase for a friend or relative than some generic work Christmas party type gift. If you feel like you just have to get them "something" and not just a piece of plastic, give them a gift card along with a small gift like an ornament, a candle, cookies (somewhat generic, but less likely to be something that will just collect dust or be re-gifted).

I would actually rather someone make a donation to a charity than to waste their money buying me a gift just so that they've bought me "something." That's a thought that counts.

These are my rings

Yes, these are my rings. "But rings are meant to be worn on your finger," you're saying. Yes, this is true.


Sadly my rings no longer fit on my finger. I knew this would happen eventually, yet I still hoped it wouldn't. I tried to stretch out the time I could wear them, but after not being able to get them off a couple of times, I decided that the time had come.

I know this is a fairly common thing to happen during pregnancy but it still bothers me; I like my rings on my finger! Shawn tries to say sweet things to help, like how it's not our rings that make us married anyway. I know this is true, but my finger feels naked without them. I might also be a little worried that someone would see my belly and then see my naked finger and think that I am unmarried and with child. The horror!

Sometimes the trying to be sweet things aren't so helpful though. For instance, he pointed out that there was another woman in our childbirthing class with her rings on a necklace (I'm usually the more observant half of our pair, but he definitely pays more attention in childbirthing class, while I'm a total space cadet. Classroom lectures were the same way for me, never could pay attention. Hopefully the results will be the same as school; space-out all year, but when the grades come out you would think I was one of the most focused students). So when I finally figure out which other woman has her rings on a necklace, it definitely didn't make me feel any better. Her due date was Thanksgiving, mine isn't until February! He didn't know though, he was just trying to make me feel better.

Since putting my rings on a necklace, I have forgotten them when I left the house at least twice. I cried a little.

I also wonder what my family members who are completely against the wearing of necklaces thought of seeing me wear a necklace on Thanksgiving.

Call Me Sentimental

This is Oliver dog's first toy. His first toy we ever got him; his daddy picked it out.

You can see the end of it a bit here in this picture from one of his first days as a member of our family, when he was just a wee little puppy (okay, he was an 18lb. puppy, but still).


Well, as you can see in the first picture, Oliver dog has finally gnawed one of the ends down so much that there is no longer a knot on that side. This wouldn't be a big deal except that little frayed pieces of rope were falling out and being swallowed.

Now you might be saying, "just throw it away." Easy for you to say, but I cannot do it. For one, it's his first ever toy! Two: he still plays with it. Three: It's the only toy he hasn't destroyed (I don't call this destroyed). Plus, it's the first toy we ever got him!

So, I think I will try to get another piece of rope to put through the rubber, that I can handle, as it will still be the same toy, just a new piece of rope. For now though, after I kept it out of reach for a while, he's been playing with it without shedding many fibers (insert some silly comment about me shedding tears).

Dear Will

(I tell myself I will add a photo of the actual journal to this post later, as right now I'm sure my slow-as-molasses internet will not upload it and I don't want to look for my card reader.)

I recently started writing a pregnancy journal of sorts. It's really more like letters to Will. I had really intended to start it a while back but I kept putting it off, unsure of what to write, or knowing what I wanted to write, but unsure about sharing these feelings.

So far, I've mostly written about my fears and worries, and a little about how having a baby in my belly makes me feel physically. I also want to document this time in our lives, so Will can know what our family was like while we were waiting for him to come, and so he can know what the first house he lived in was like. Depending on how long we live here, he may not remember it.

I've thought about posting some of my writings here, but I don't think I want to be that open and this is probably the first time I've held back from posting something personal. I haven't even let Shawn read them yet, though he keeps asking, and I'm sure I will eventually.

The Politeness of Prayer

I've noticed a trend in the way we present our prayer requests to the general public. This is different than making a prayer request to friends you know are Christians—we assume that they are always taking requests. For some reason though, when a lot of people make prayer requests publicly (namely through social media like Twitter and Facebook) they're afraid of offending someone.


Photo from Flickr member c0t0s0d0

The prayer requests I'm talking about start off by saying, "If you pray..." I noticed this preface to prayer requests happening more and more often and it really started to get under my skin. Or maybe it was getting under my spirit.

So what if you ask people to pray for your need and someone who doesn't pray reads it? Are you afraid they're going to be offended and lash out at you? This must be the Christian way to act when non-believers might hear you because no one every lashed out at Jesus. Oh, wait...

John 10:19-21This kind of talk caused another split in the Jewish ranks. A lot of them were saying, "He's crazy, a maniac—out of his head completely. Why bother listening to him?" But others weren't so sure: "These aren't the words of a crazy man. Can a 'maniac' open blind eyes?"

22-24They were celebrating Hanukkah just then in Jerusalem. It was winter. Jesus was strolling in the Temple across Solomon's Porch. The Jews, circling him, said, "How long are you going to keep us guessing? If you're the Messiah, tell us straight out."

25-30Jesus answered, "I told you, but you don't believe. Everything I have done has been authorized by my Father, actions that speak louder than words. You don't believe because you're not my sheep. My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The Father who put them under my care is so much greater than the Destroyer and Thief. No one could ever get them away from him. I and the Father are one heart and mind."

31-32Again the Jews picked up rocks to throw at him. Jesus said, "I have made a present to you from the Father of a great many good actions. For which of these acts do you stone me?"

33The Jews said, "We're not stoning you for anything good you did, but for what you said—this blasphemy of calling yourself God."

What is the likelihood of someone being greatly offended anyway? If they don't pray, they're just not going to pray. There's a chance though that someone who used to pray might read your request and start praying again, or even someone who has never prayed might feel sympathy for your need and decide to give it a try. But no, we wouldn't want to take the chance that we might offend someone, Jesus never offended anyone. Oh, wait...

Mathew 15:1-2 After that, Pharisees and religion scholars came to Jesus all the way from Jerusalem, criticizing, "Why do your disciples play fast and loose with the rules?"

3-9But Jesus put it right back on them. "Why do you use your rules to play fast and loose with God's commands? God clearly says, 'Respect your father and mother,' and, 'Anyone denouncing father or mother should be killed.' But you weasel around that by saying, 'Whoever wants to, can say to father and mother, What I owed to you I've given to God.' That can hardly be called respecting a parent. You cancel God's command by your rules. Frauds! Isaiah's prophecy of you hit the bull's-eye:

These people make a big show of saying the right thing,
but their heart isn't in it.
They act like they're worshiping me,
but they don't mean it.
They just use me as a cover
for teaching whatever suits their fancy."

10-11He then called the crowd together and said, "Listen, and take this to heart. It's not what you swallow that pollutes your life, but what you vomit up."

12Later his disciples came and told him, "Did you know how upset the Pharisees were when they heard what you said?"

13-14Jesus shrugged it off. "Every tree that wasn't planted by my Father in heaven will be pulled up by its roots. Forget them. They are blind men leading blind men. When a blind man leads a blind man, they both end up in the ditch."

As thoughts of this go through my mind another issue of prayer brings itself to my attention. When you're eating with a group, some of whom may not pray, do you still pray before your meal? If so, how do you do it? Is it just a silent prayer that no one will notice? Do you ask, "do you mind if I pray?" and then pray openly? Shawn and I have been in that last group before, saying, "We're going to pray, if that's alright," or something along those lines. However, now that I'm really thinking about this, is that how it should be? Is that what Jesus would do? I think it would be much more likely that Jesus would think, "I'm going to pray and I don't care what you have to say about it."

Shouldn't we be that bold with our prayers?

I remember going through school (excluding middle school, when I went to a Christian school and we prayed together before lunch) and at lunch praying silently to myself, most of the time not even closing my eyes or doing anything else that would give away the fact that I was praying. While this exact scenario will not carry over to my children, since I will be homeschooling them, I still want them to be able to pray with boldness in front of their friends, never feeling ashamed or a need to hide the fact that they believe in prayer. Now you may be thinking, "but prayer is not allowed in schools." You're right, and Jesus never broke the rules. Oh, wait...

Matthew 12:1-2 One Sabbath, Jesus was strolling with his disciples through a field of ripe grain. Hungry, the disciples were pulling off the heads of grain and munching on them. Some Pharisees reported them to Jesus: "Your disciples are breaking the Sabbath rules!"

3-5Jesus said, "Really? Didn't you ever read what David and his companions did when they were hungry, how they entered the sanctuary and ate fresh bread off the altar, bread that no one but priests were allowed to eat? And didn't you ever read in God's Law that priests carrying out their Temple duties break Sabbath rules all the time and it's not held against them?

6-8"There is far more at stake here than religion. If you had any idea what this Scripture meant—'I prefer a flexible heart to an inflexible ritual'—you wouldn't be nitpicking like this. The Son of Man is no lackey to the Sabbath; he's in charge."

9-10When Jesus left the field, he entered their meeting place. There was a man there with a crippled hand. They said to Jesus, "Is it legal to heal on the Sabbath?" They were baiting him.

11-14He replied, "Is there a person here who, finding one of your lambs fallen into a ravine, wouldn't, even though it was a Sabbath, pull it out? Surely kindness to people is as legal as kindness to animals!" Then he said to the man, "Hold out your hand." He held it out and it was healed. The Pharisees walked out furious, sputtering about how they were going to ruin Jesus.

The next time you go to make a prayer request or to pray with someone say to yourself: "Am I ashamed of my beliefs, or do I want to be bold like Jesus?"

The Many Reasons We Need (Want) a House

Oliver: our puppy is going to be very big—huge, the vet says. He has gained about 10lbs a month since we got him and still has a ways to go. We need somewhere to put him where he can play by himself other than our tiny balcony. We also need a place where we don't have to worry about him trying to make new friends with people who really don't want to be his friend when someone takes him out without a leash.

Money: payments for several of the houses we've looked at would be cheaper than our current rent.

No more elephants: I really don't know how the people upstairs make so much noise.

Garden: I really want to plant a vegetable garden. Actually, I want to do this: Produce all the food you need on just a quarter acre!

Buying the cow: We'll have room (hopefully) for a freezer so we can buy a half of a cow.

We're having a baby: Okay, the baby isn't due until February, but I'm sure it would be a lot easier to make the move into a house before then than to wait until our lease is up and move with a 2 month old.

I'm pretty sure I had a lot more reasons than this when I first wanted to post on this topic, that's what I get for being a slacker.

The Swing of Things

This year has not been great to say the least. I remember this time last year hoping that 2008 would be better; I was shown it could be worse. The last four months have been some of the worst/hardest of my life but I know some events have been harder for the others involved, like the recent death of my cousin. I'm glad for the time we got to spend getting to know him over last year since his accident, but I wish it would have been more.

I haven't posted often in the past four months, it's not that nothing has happened, that's for sure, just nothing I want to talk about here. I try to make this site positive, focusing on the things that "keep me from sinking," so I try not to dwell on negative things or complain too much, but sometimes it seems like that's all there is and that's when my posting slacks off.

I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things and pray that an upswing will evolve.

The Diagnosis

This is the post I've been putting off (well, really I've been putting a lot of things off lately), it's hard to talk about, and it's not a fun topic that's for sure. I'm sure some of you that have been following this blog are curious though and I know there are at least a few of you who really do care and I appreciate that. So while this isn't something I feel like talking about, I'm posting it because I need your support and your prayers. And who knows, maybe one day this can serve as a story of encouragement for someone in a similar situation.

Two weeks ago, I had to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy, not something you ever want to do, especially a week before moving 7 hours away from your family for college. The doctor tells me I have Crohn's disease. I knew they were going to find something wrong, because I've known something was wrong for a while, but it's still very depressing to know that this is something I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life and that pretty much right off the bat I'm on my own to deal with it because of leaving for school. It also makes this time of transition even more of one.

The meds I'm taking have the scariest possible side effects of anything I've ever taken. Thankfully, I've had no real problems so far and taking four horse pills with lunch and supper does get easier. Though figuring out the logistics for me, food, and meds to be in the same place at the same time can get difficult. They do seem to be helping though, so who knows, I could get lucky be blessed and be in remission for years.

Things and Stuff

I've been stressing out a lot lately, as in more than usual. I'm just really worried about going off to school, getting an apartment, furniture, a job, that sort of stuff. I've lived away from home before, but there was always someone else who was responsible for the basic necessities, now I'll be responsible for those things myself. Not to say I'll be completely on my own though, I will have a roommate, which is some relief, and in the "pro" list of going to USF over UF.

My mom doesn't want me to take my bedroom furniture, which at first I was upset about (even though I didn't say anything), I mean it's my furniture. Now that I think about it though, it's best to leave my nice furniture here and not have to take the risk of it getting messed up. It's the furniture that I want to have when I make a more permanent move, so I'll get some other furniture to go with me over the next 2 years.

The 2 years is another thing that gets to me. 2 more years of school, I just feel old, and I feel like most people that for a 4 year degree are done by my age. It's just another one of those things where 10 years ago I thought I would be at a completely different stage of life now. I think back just 3 years ago and remember telling a co-worker how I really just wanted to be a housewife and a mom. I still wouldn't turn that life down, but I would do it with some freelance writing work on the side; I couldn't give up writing.

I Focus Manually!

For a while I've been wanting an older manual focus SLR, a Minolta more specifically. So a couple Saturdays ago my mom and I went downtown to an antique store, I wanted to look for a camera and she had just never been to an antique store before (weird I know).

They actually did have a Minolta SLR, but it wasn't the model I wanted the most and they were asking way too much for it. They also had a Canon SLR, an AE-1, but they wanted $174 for it! Later my mom says, "You know your dad has an old camera like that, a Canon, I think it's in my bedroom." Um, okay.



She gets it out and yeah, it's an AE-1. I actually remember playing with it when I was little, come to think of it. I've been interested in photography for as long as I can remember, I even read books on photography in elementary school (I still am quite strange, thank you).

The best thing though it that the camera still had an old roll of film in it, which I'm going to pick up now.

Mike Huckabee?

That is the question.

This describes my feelings right now:


A bit torn on Ron Paul. After doing a little more self-educating on the candidates I'm now on the line between Paul and Huckabee. If you'd like to try to sway me in either direction, feel free to voice your opinions in the comments.




I went to the local Republican forum today. I had never been to one before but it was pretty much how I expected it to be. Romney's table had cookies and brownies. McCain didn't have a table at all, just 3 or 4 people standing behind signs. Paul had a bunch of hippies and face painting. Huckabee's table was perhaps, no, make that exactly, how a campaign would be presented in a Hollywood movie, complete with small children running around with his bumper stickers on their clothes. Giuliani and Thompson both had a very subtle presence.

The hippies scared me away from Paul's table and in the end I left with about 10 Huckabee bumper stickers and we currently have a Huckabee sign in our yard.


My mom and cousin.