Maybe I should have waited until after Christmas to post this, but then I don't want anyone thinking I'm talking about their gift to me, so here goes. I don't know how many times I've gone over this post in my head, trying to find a way to write it that didn't sound so harsh. I couldn't, so bear with me. (and also excuse me for being a Christian blogger making a Christmas post that is about gifts and not about the birth of our Savior.)
"Presents" by alliecreative on Flickr.The phrase "It's the thought that counts" is heard a lot this time of year and if you've ever received a gift you didn't care for I'm sure you've heard it or even said it to yourself as you tried to appear grateful. I would like to pick this saying apart a bit and really just analyze one word: "thought."
What "thought" is it that we're talking about when we say "it's the thought that counts"? When an aunt that you've spent time with at least once a week for most of your life buys you the same gift she would buy for a coworker that she barely knows (hello soap and lotion set! or Hickory Farms sampler for the guys), what thought is it that we're trying to give her credit for?
In many cases the only thought I can find that the giver had when purchasing the gift was, "I have to buy this person a gift."
For "the thought to count," the giver must put some thought into the gift. For example, if your grandma buys you a pink bunny costume because she knows you like bunnies, that thought counts, because she took into consideration what you like. Even if she didn't consider that you're not 5 anymore and would never let yourself be seen in bunny costume, much less a pink one, she was still making an effort to get you something you would like. Even if their thinking was off, at least they made an effort and I think that's the true intention of the phrase, "it's the thought that counts," not what we've made it today. Today, we might as well just say, "well, at least they bought you something." Really?
Now I understand that this may make me sound incredibly unappreciative, but that is not the case. I would actually rather receive nothing than just "something." I would rather the person not have wasted their money on something that they purchased without even going through the thought process of "will she like/use this?" Other than wasting their money it puts them in the awkward position of giving a bad gift and receiver in the awkward position of trying to appear thankful while hoping there is a gift receipt.
Now there are times when you feel you have to buy someone a gift and you don't have any idea what to get them, I understand. First, ask yourself, "do I really have to buy this person a gift?" If you really think you do, a gift card is always a more thoughtful purchase for a friend or relative than some generic work Christmas party type gift. If you feel like you just have to get them "something" and not just a piece of plastic, give them a gift card along with a small gift like an ornament, a candle, cookies (somewhat generic, but less likely to be something that will just collect dust or be re-gifted).
I would actually rather someone make a donation to a charity than to waste their money buying me a gift just so that they've bought me "something." That's a thought that counts.
