The Politeness of Prayer

I've noticed a trend in the way we present our prayer requests to the general public. This is different than making a prayer request to friends you know are Christians—we assume that they are always taking requests. For some reason though, when a lot of people make prayer requests publicly (namely through social media like Twitter and Facebook) they're afraid of offending someone.


Photo from Flickr member c0t0s0d0

The prayer requests I'm talking about start off by saying, "If you pray..." I noticed this preface to prayer requests happening more and more often and it really started to get under my skin. Or maybe it was getting under my spirit.

So what if you ask people to pray for your need and someone who doesn't pray reads it? Are you afraid they're going to be offended and lash out at you? This must be the Christian way to act when non-believers might hear you because no one every lashed out at Jesus. Oh, wait...

John 10:19-21This kind of talk caused another split in the Jewish ranks. A lot of them were saying, "He's crazy, a maniac—out of his head completely. Why bother listening to him?" But others weren't so sure: "These aren't the words of a crazy man. Can a 'maniac' open blind eyes?"

22-24They were celebrating Hanukkah just then in Jerusalem. It was winter. Jesus was strolling in the Temple across Solomon's Porch. The Jews, circling him, said, "How long are you going to keep us guessing? If you're the Messiah, tell us straight out."

25-30Jesus answered, "I told you, but you don't believe. Everything I have done has been authorized by my Father, actions that speak louder than words. You don't believe because you're not my sheep. My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The Father who put them under my care is so much greater than the Destroyer and Thief. No one could ever get them away from him. I and the Father are one heart and mind."

31-32Again the Jews picked up rocks to throw at him. Jesus said, "I have made a present to you from the Father of a great many good actions. For which of these acts do you stone me?"

33The Jews said, "We're not stoning you for anything good you did, but for what you said—this blasphemy of calling yourself God."

What is the likelihood of someone being greatly offended anyway? If they don't pray, they're just not going to pray. There's a chance though that someone who used to pray might read your request and start praying again, or even someone who has never prayed might feel sympathy for your need and decide to give it a try. But no, we wouldn't want to take the chance that we might offend someone, Jesus never offended anyone. Oh, wait...

Mathew 15:1-2 After that, Pharisees and religion scholars came to Jesus all the way from Jerusalem, criticizing, "Why do your disciples play fast and loose with the rules?"

3-9But Jesus put it right back on them. "Why do you use your rules to play fast and loose with God's commands? God clearly says, 'Respect your father and mother,' and, 'Anyone denouncing father or mother should be killed.' But you weasel around that by saying, 'Whoever wants to, can say to father and mother, What I owed to you I've given to God.' That can hardly be called respecting a parent. You cancel God's command by your rules. Frauds! Isaiah's prophecy of you hit the bull's-eye:

These people make a big show of saying the right thing,
but their heart isn't in it.
They act like they're worshiping me,
but they don't mean it.
They just use me as a cover
for teaching whatever suits their fancy."

10-11He then called the crowd together and said, "Listen, and take this to heart. It's not what you swallow that pollutes your life, but what you vomit up."

12Later his disciples came and told him, "Did you know how upset the Pharisees were when they heard what you said?"

13-14Jesus shrugged it off. "Every tree that wasn't planted by my Father in heaven will be pulled up by its roots. Forget them. They are blind men leading blind men. When a blind man leads a blind man, they both end up in the ditch."

As thoughts of this go through my mind another issue of prayer brings itself to my attention. When you're eating with a group, some of whom may not pray, do you still pray before your meal? If so, how do you do it? Is it just a silent prayer that no one will notice? Do you ask, "do you mind if I pray?" and then pray openly? Shawn and I have been in that last group before, saying, "We're going to pray, if that's alright," or something along those lines. However, now that I'm really thinking about this, is that how it should be? Is that what Jesus would do? I think it would be much more likely that Jesus would think, "I'm going to pray and I don't care what you have to say about it."

Shouldn't we be that bold with our prayers?

I remember going through school (excluding middle school, when I went to a Christian school and we prayed together before lunch) and at lunch praying silently to myself, most of the time not even closing my eyes or doing anything else that would give away the fact that I was praying. While this exact scenario will not carry over to my children, since I will be homeschooling them, I still want them to be able to pray with boldness in front of their friends, never feeling ashamed or a need to hide the fact that they believe in prayer. Now you may be thinking, "but prayer is not allowed in schools." You're right, and Jesus never broke the rules. Oh, wait...

Matthew 12:1-2 One Sabbath, Jesus was strolling with his disciples through a field of ripe grain. Hungry, the disciples were pulling off the heads of grain and munching on them. Some Pharisees reported them to Jesus: "Your disciples are breaking the Sabbath rules!"

3-5Jesus said, "Really? Didn't you ever read what David and his companions did when they were hungry, how they entered the sanctuary and ate fresh bread off the altar, bread that no one but priests were allowed to eat? And didn't you ever read in God's Law that priests carrying out their Temple duties break Sabbath rules all the time and it's not held against them?

6-8"There is far more at stake here than religion. If you had any idea what this Scripture meant—'I prefer a flexible heart to an inflexible ritual'—you wouldn't be nitpicking like this. The Son of Man is no lackey to the Sabbath; he's in charge."

9-10When Jesus left the field, he entered their meeting place. There was a man there with a crippled hand. They said to Jesus, "Is it legal to heal on the Sabbath?" They were baiting him.

11-14He replied, "Is there a person here who, finding one of your lambs fallen into a ravine, wouldn't, even though it was a Sabbath, pull it out? Surely kindness to people is as legal as kindness to animals!" Then he said to the man, "Hold out your hand." He held it out and it was healed. The Pharisees walked out furious, sputtering about how they were going to ruin Jesus.

The next time you go to make a prayer request or to pray with someone say to yourself: "Am I ashamed of my beliefs, or do I want to be bold like Jesus?"