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We're having a baby in 3 weeks!

What?! I don't feel ready at all. Will is sleeping in her room and has been for the past few weeks while his is being painted. Painting is taking longer than expected, partially because all of the trim was peeling due to the (not so) handy-work of the previous owners, so it has to be scraped, sanded, primed, and then painted. I chose Martha Stewart's "Picket Fence" for the trim in case you were wondering.

After Will's room is finished, Shawn still has to put together the new crib and paint Lorelai's room. I should probably decide on a color for that. I had a ton of paint samples I liked but they have gone missing along with a bag of brand new baby clothes. I've tortured myself over that bag, but it must have been accidentally trashed. This past weekend we bought some more clothes to make up for the missing ones, but it's still going to bother me for a while.

Now I'm staring at our living room walls and thinking about how blah they look; I haven't been able to choose a color for that room either.

Toddler Days

I'm going to skip the whole how it's been a while and I'll try to blog more often speech. I'm not going to plan on trying to blog more often. I don't think I have the confidence (or is it conceitedness?) to be a serious blogger, as far as personal blogs go.

Anywho, can you believe Will is 15 months old now?!



When he turned 1, back in February, I was supposed to be freaked out about it. At least that what everyone I know, including my good friend Mr. Interwebs told me. I wasn't. Instead, I felt accomplished. Accomplished that I did it; that we did it. We made it through those tough early days of crying all. the. time. The won't nurse days. From sleeping perfectly at night, to not sleeping, and then back again, and again. From no naps to perfect naps, and the same back and forth there. From bottles to boobs to mush to big people food.



The biggest thing I've learned through this first 15 months of mommyhood (besides how selfish I can be and how selfless I could be if I try) is that nearly everything is a phase.

Music rut?

If you've been around these parts a while, you know that music has always been very important to me. Songs can just be so powerful.

However, lately I just couldn't decide what to listen to, nothing I had appealed to me all that much (partly due to deleting a lot of my music?) and I couldn't figure it out. I guessed I was just bored with what little music I had. But that wasn't it.

After spending some time trying to figure out what was going on-did I not like music so much any more? Was it because I didn't want Will listening to Maylene & the Sons of Disaster just yet?-I finally got it. My taste in music had just changed a bit.

Of course, this has happened before, I mean Mariah Carey used to be my favorite, but I guess it's been a while and this is just a slight change. I still like some of the stuff I liked before (Mason Jennings), I don't dislike any of it, and some of it I love more than ever, like JJ Heller and Waterdeep.

My problem is finding new music I like. Most recently I've started listening to some Jon Thurlow (who needs to put out a live album or something, because it's so much better), and Gungor. I'm open to suggestions but not expecting much that I haven't already heard, oh well.

(note: I'm posting this from my iPod and am including a photo of Will, but I have no idea where it's going to show up in the post. Fun huh?)

Things that suck

I guess I've been in kind of a funk lately, here are some of the reasons why:

• Feeling like no matter what I do it's never enough, in quantity or quality. No matter how much I do, there's a million more things that need to be done and none of them are what I want to do. Sometimes just doing nothing is easier than trying to figure out where to begin and, of course, I can't do what I want because then I would feel worse for not doing the other things.
• Being certain someone, who I thought wanted to be my friend, is avoiding me and having absolutely no idea why. That's fine if you don't want to be my friend, maybe you think I'm not interesting or we don't have enough in common, it's the barely looking in my direction that I don't get. You can say hi and make polite conversation, I'm not going to corner you and force you to hang out with me.
• Being so excited about something and having someone I care about think it's one of the worst things that could ever happen. And they don't even realize how hurtful they're being. Don't rain on someone's parade, people.
• Feeling left out all the time. I think it's more feeling this way than actually being left out that bothers me. I wish it didn't bother me; maybe one day I just won't care and then I won't feel left out. (Don't comment on this one saying "oh, I feel left out too," because you're probably someone who has made me feel left out recently and that will just make it worse.)
  

And now for something happy.
Don't you wish you had milky smooth skin like that?